they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize