ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
