Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
