Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
