What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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