You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize