PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
