I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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