dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
