Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I am naked and annoyed.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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