At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
