if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
