Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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