3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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