I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
