i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
