isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
