I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
