There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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