You're so nebulous sometimes
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
did you just send me my own nude
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
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