he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
