R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
