help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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