Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm bleeding and have questions
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize