Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
