mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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