From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Randomize
