I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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