that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
