that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
