Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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