i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
