all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
