Moan for me like Helen Keller
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
