Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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