everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Randomize
