shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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