I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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