matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
