Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
