I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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