seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
