i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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