dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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