Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
