I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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