My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
