just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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