Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
