??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Holy sore nipples Batman
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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