I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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