Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
