She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
