Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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