Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
