The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
high people should be assigned attendants
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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