I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
