Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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