Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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