he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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