thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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