you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize