Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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